I am always disappointed when I can’t find my pants
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There is a reason I buy a lot of carrots even tho I am allergic to them.
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Heels always get me out of speeding tickets
(Source: alwaysbeperfectbaby, via sexydressfashion)
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This is how to make geometry class fun again.
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I like pools that have pillars in the center of them for no reason at all
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Excuse me miss your “nipples” are poking through your shirt and popping all our balloons
(Source: bluntspumpsnlashes, via satanicbarbiedoll)
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One of these things is not like the others
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I should get a job in an office, then someone would appreciate my dancing.
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Crouching asian, hidden maths homework.
(Source: ispandex, via yellowcunt)
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Hot, the literal and physical.
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I may be no expert but i think it is easier to shower not wearing tight leather pants, not that i have a problem with tight leather pants.
(Source: intothegreatbelow, via brunette-bimbos)
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Matching bikini tops and bottoms are for people that don’t like sand all over their tits.
(Source: lucaspassmore, via iheartsluttysluts)
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If you connect the dots they make a line.
(Source: inteligasm, via thesexualrelease)
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Proper stretching happen in front of a statue.
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The best way to take a selfie in an ugly dress is to listen to pink floyd
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The silly thoughts that enter my head when gazing upon attractiveness.
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