I am always disappointed when I can’t find my pants

I am always disappointed when I can’t find my pants

(via i-hate-the-beach)

There is a reason I buy a lot of carrots even tho I am allergic to them.

There is a reason I buy a lot of carrots even tho I am allergic to them.

Heels always get me out of speeding tickets

Heels always get me out of speeding tickets

(Source: alwaysbeperfectbaby, via sexydressfashion)

This is how to make geometry class fun again.

This is how to make geometry class fun again.

(Source: girlsinyogapants)

I like pools that have pillars in the center of them for no reason at all

I like pools that have pillars in the center of them for no reason at all

(via luxuryismybeat12)

Excuse me miss your “nipples” are poking through your shirt and popping all our balloons

Excuse me miss your “nipples” are poking through your shirt and popping all our balloons

(Source: bluntspumpsnlashes, via satanicbarbiedoll)

One of these things is not like the others

One of these things is not like the others

I should get a job in an office, then someone would appreciate my dancing.

I should get a job in an office, then someone would appreciate my dancing.

Crouching asian, hidden maths homework.

Crouching asian, hidden maths homework.

(Source: ispandex, via yellowcunt)

Hot, the literal and physical.

Hot, the literal and physical.

(Source: naughty-butt-nice)

I may be no expert but i think it is easier to shower not wearing tight leather pants, not that i have a problem with tight leather pants.

I may be no expert but i think it is easier to shower not wearing tight leather pants, not that i have a problem with tight leather pants.

(Source: intothegreatbelow, via brunette-bimbos)

Matching bikini tops and bottoms are for people that don’t like sand all over their tits.

Matching bikini tops and bottoms are for people that don’t like sand all over their tits.

(Source: lucaspassmore, via iheartsluttysluts)

If you connect the dots they make a line.

If you connect the dots they make a line.

(Source: inteligasm, via thesexualrelease)

Proper stretching happen in front of a statue. 

Proper stretching happen in front of a statue. 

(Source: naughty-butt-nice)

The best way to take a selfie in an ugly dress is to listen to pink floyd 

The best way to take a selfie in an ugly dress is to listen to pink floyd 

(via thesexualrelease)